Enjoy the silence

Last night I experienced something that has been reoccurring more recently and that is the Late Night Blues. When the moon goes dark my mind wonders into a dark place that’s difficult to return from. Which is weird, because the day before I usually wake up refreshed and fine. Last night it hit me pretty bad so I did what I always do, I sat down and asked why.

Lady gaga once said

I’m alone, Brandon, every night. I go from everyone touching me all day and talking at me all day to total silence.

And I totally understand what she means. Often times people think I’m uber successful at dating because when I open my tinder gold I have a whopping 3,000+ pre-swipes in my queue. But in reality to me its just an epic graveyard of fail. A conjunction of dudes that just mindlessly swipe right (only to unmatch later) or ones that are the epitome of basic. Dudes I normally would pass on even after last call.

But Lady Gaga’s words ring true. In a digital world were hitting it off is an after thought, tons of guys reach out to use me for a limited time until they move on and then I’m left with silence. Now, in the world of dating this isn’t too far fetched, but after grinding through so many dates one has to wonder: is this the right spot for me?

Also maybe I should be doing something else with my time?

This is usually where most people turn on themselves and start questing if they’re attractive or likable. Overanalyzing if they’ve made the wrong moves. But I say, nay my friends. Fuck that. Cause the last thing anyone needs is more validation on what we’re lacking and what we do need is more motivation to do what we want.

At night an inner voice tells me to fall into the void, but in the morning it’s telling me to get up and live in the now. So fight it.

Wake up from your lame slumber and write a brief list of things you want to do. Even if they just make you feel better. Even if no one sees them. And when you’re done, congratulate yourself, cause this is the first step towards doing you.